Mindful Parenting When Your Child is Stressed
What is Mindful Parenting?
Everyone experiences stress in different ways and for different reasons. Kids are not immune to stress, either, especially evident by the impact of the pandemic on children of all ages. Whether it’s an upcoming test or meeting new people, all children face stressful situations, and knowing how to help them when they feel like the world is on top of them is a struggle for every parent.
Mindful parenting spans time and involves an attitude of awareness and openness in the parent/child relationship. It helps you become the best version of yourself to allow you to parent your child with love and compassion instead of fear and anxiety. Mindful parenting encourages taking time for yourself and cultivating self-care along with finding ways to teach your child to manage stress for the long term.
The theory behind mindful parenting is that you bring an attitude of awareness and openness to your relationship with your child. Being mindful means being present and aware in the moment and fully accepting whatever is going on inside you and around you. As parents, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the busyness of life. Mindful parenting recognizes that being a parent is a challenging and stressful role, so it encourages parents to take time for themselves and cultivate self-care to support their parenting.
Promoting Healthy Development
Being mindful as a parent means stepping away from the need to control everything that happens in your child’s life (i.e., helicopter parenting). It is especially important when children are stressed, overwhelmed, and/or anxious. Becoming a mindful parent begins with acknowledging your own anxieties and fears instead of inadvertently transferring them onto your child.
Often without intention and without realizing it, many parents inadvertently transfer their own angst onto their child. They try to coach their children by reminding them what to do and how to act in certain situations. Occasionally, this isn’t a big deal; however, this coaching as a routine and reciting the same instructions and reminders over and over isn’t helpful when it comes to a child’s healthy development. In fact, trying to control situations for your child can actually undermine any feelings of competence. With practice, mindful parenting from a place of curiosity and stability can become a way of life for you and your child as you promote healthy development through mindful activities.
Mindful Parenting in Action
A mindful parent helps their child manage stress and lower anxiety levels by getting them engaged in activities that make them feel good. Engaging in preferred activities that bring joy, smiles, and laughter increases the feel-good chemicals in the brain. Additionally, being able to talk about emotions to a calm parent who does not jump to problem solve but instead listens and reflects is also a tool that supports healthy emotional development. The activities described below provide a starting point for putting mindful parenting into action.
Breathing Exercises
Breathing exercises are a great way to get your child focused on the present moment and to calm them down when they’re stressed. Follow the steps below to implement this strategy.
Sit down with the family when everyone is calm. The right time to teach a breathing exercise is not when your child is having a meltdown.
Practicing deep breathing, square breathing, or mountain breathing to create neural pathways that can be called upon when needed most.
Close your eyes and focus on the breath as you slowly breathe in and out.
After a few minutes, when your breathing has calmed you down, check in with each other. A family check-in can become a beautiful ritual for families.
This can become a part of your child’s and your family’s daily routine and help them manage their anxiety and stress. Simple breathing exercises the whole family can do together communicates that focusing on the present moment is important for everyone, not just the child who is anxious.
Playing Games
Games are a great way to help your child move their focus away from their anxiety. Begin by figuring out what games your child enjoys. Card games, board games, and imaginative games can all help them forget about their worries and anxieties for a while. Try a board game like Wild Ride To the Heart by HeartMath or a simple card game like Go Fish!
You can even create your own games with your kids, letting them take the lead. This can be done with almost anything from building blocks to arts and crafts. When you invent a game with your child, they’ll be even more engaged in the activity and less focused on their worries.
Expressing Worries
If your child is struggling to verbalize their worries and anxieties, encourage them to draw a picture or write them down. Having worries and anxieties out in the open and on paper can help them feel more at ease. You can encourage your child to write down or draw pictures of their worries by letting them pick out a journal or notebook that can be their very own. Journaling and drawing can help both children and adults express anxieties and worries and get them off their chest, which results in feeling less stressed and more in control.
Another option is to reflect on positive situations and times they felt proud of themselves. This can be done in their journals or verbally to help strengthen self-esteem and create a more positive mindset overall. Using a tool, like a one-to-five scale, for a personal or family check-in can become a soothing ritual that can be used anywhere at any time.
Going on a Walk
Most kids love nature and seeing animals and plants that are unique to their surroundings, and nature’s healing and calming effect can be felt by pretty much everyone. Plan a nature walk with your child and encourage them to notice the details around them. This helps your child focus on what’s happening outside their head and away from their anxieties. Regular nature walks can become a healthy outlet to release stress and worries not only for your child but for the whole family.
The Need for Mindful Parenting
Mindful parenting helps you bring an attitude of awareness and openness to your relationship with your child. Before getting wrapped up in our own lives, we must remember that parenting is a challenging and stressful role and that we can’t help our children if we aren’t healthy ourselves. Begin by stepping away from your anxieties and fear and finding ways to relieve your stress and accept what you can’t control.
